Sunday, 12 October 2008

Mum's gone to Iceland

I suspect she's looking for the rest of her housekeeping money. It seems that Iceland are having a few cash flow problems at present. I'm not surprised. On checking their website today, I note that they are offering a Big Value Pack of lasagne for just £1, and profiteroles (sixteen large ones, mind) are a snip at £2. No wonder they're struggling as a country with unsustainably low prices like that.

The Face of Iceland is not Björk, as most people seem to think, but rather Kerry Katona. Has the singer of It's so quiet ever demonstrated how to feed five thousand people for a tenner? I don't recall her ever having done so, all though she may have done, in amongst all that wailing. Ms Katona, however, is the much more acceptable face of a country that now needs to reduce its shopping bills in order to give our councils back their pension funds.

I've visited Ms Katona's own website, and feel more than vindicated in my opinion of her. Remember Njal's Saga? Do you recall Hrafnkel's Saga? Perhaps not, but I feel Ms Katona would be more than equal to writing a modern Icelandic saga in a similar vein. Then perhaps we could thrill to the songs of Thorgeir Einarsson the bard as he extols the virtue of the 350g Seafood Medley; or listen to the chatter of Vigdis Magnusdottir as she explains to her friends how quick and easy it is to create a Birthday Tea with the Hassle-Free Party Range of wraps, tartlets and goujons. I could even suggest a tagline: Just the thing after a day at the Althing. (Or AlÞing, if you want to be authentic).

Why do I think Ms Katona is capable of such things? It is this simple statement, taken from her website, and reproduced using the original Icelandic spelling:

Kerry mentains ardent intrest in books, writing and litrature.

I look forward to reading the Islandfaeðisaga in due course.


Stevyn Colgan said...

Kerry Katona is a goddess. That one that looks a bit like the Willendorf Venus.

Of course, this would never have happened when the country was called Bejams.

chris hale said...

You're right.

But what's going on with the Willendorf Venus? Why is she wearing a woolly hat á la Benny from Crossroads?

chris hale said...

...And a fascinating fact. If the 18000 employees of Iceland (the company) suddenly decided to up sticks and move en masse to Iceland (the country) in order to set up their own 'ex-pat' community, they would be founding the fourth largest city on the island, knocking Akureyrí into fifth place.

Stevyn Colgan said...

Now that's the kind of fact that makes an interesting book! There you go Chris ... write a fascinating 'What if ...' book.

It would have to be accurate of course. You couldn't include things like 'If all the chickens in the world were laid end to end, they'd soon become a bit of a road hazard.'

Stevyn Colgan said...

Ooh Miss Diane! Oive gone and made meself into a fertility totem!