Tuesday, 9 December 2008

Frensm is as frensm does

Whatever the hell that means.

Anyway, I'll tell you a story. A little earlier I went to pay my respects to the Comedy Goddess, in order to make a small jocular remark about Glogg, a Swedish punch which she is currently promoting. Whenever I wish to comment upon CG's blog, I am required to copy a group of apparently random letters, termed 'word verification', before I can post my ramblings. Now, generally speaking, the letters make very little sense, and do not, as a rule, spell out anything that can be found in the OED. But today, another of CG's visitors, Ann (of Ann's Rants) found herself being asked to input the word unpubast, which she thought sounded like the technical term for a bikini waxer.

This, of course, got me thinking. Could we create a whole new dictionary, based solely upon the apparently random output of the word verification gnomes? By Jove, I think we could. The following have all been generated from CG's post a comment box, just this afternoon, and the definitions were the first things that came into my head. Well, almost:

Bakerni - A Croatian oath, similar to the English cry of ‘knackers’.

Scrimpor - Cartoon super-villain, whose special power is an ability to spend very little money.

Ating - The act of stranding someone on a small island in the middle of the River Thames.

Sherrea - A little-known law from a tiny religious sect that insists upon all its adherents drinking fortified wine.

Frensm - An East Anglian dialect word, incorporating friendly and handsome (in the sense of ‘generous’) - eg That’s right frensm of ‘ee! Generally used to thank someone for purchasing a drink.

Coothe - Common name for the North American Lisping Pigeon

Siffist - Someone who shuns the Seattle International Film Festival (there is such a thing, I swear!)

Inegur - An authentic-sounding Icelandic name, generally used with a following adjective (eg Inegur the Strong, Inegur the Skull-splitter, etc.)

Corturts - (i) the pain experienced when injected into an elbow joint with cortisone; or (ii) the actual words uttered by the unfortunate individual in receipt of the injection.

Extusice - The act of expelling a member of a fitness club from the membership list.

Gatiomen - An unusual Japanese noodle dish, made piquant by the addition of a small amount of kitten meat.

Eazed - The sense of relief afforded by the application of a soothing rub or cream.

Grallin - An ocean fish, noted for its passing resemblance to Sarah Palin, former vice-presidential hopeful.

Over to you. I'm hoping this even-lighter-weight-than-usual posting will buy me some time until I have something really useful to say.


Ann's Rants said...

Thanks for the linky! I have to disagree about sherrea--that is clearly the result of drinking too much sherry.

Great post.

WV: Blellyna
Definition: term of affection for one's own belly-button lint

chris hale said...

Hi Ann, and thanks. Great definition as well.

Blellyna. Hmm. Could also be a brave attempt at the word ballerina after drinking too much of sherry aforesaid!

Jeane said...

think you nailed 'corturts' - verification here 'swall' - could be 'short for: I notice you have a small livingroom wall.'

willow said...

This was great, in fact, I got lost out there in the bloggyhood, going from link to link! Your first Croatian one is the best. ;^)

The word verification I have to type for this comment is "debra"...a woman's name or just taking off an article of clothing?

chris hale said...

Jeane - a very small wall indeed!

chris hale said...

Willow - could even be an item of underclothing preceded by a poorly pronounced definite article. But I like your definitions more!

Raph G. Neckmann said...

I have to confess I've just been back and forth from your Comments page several times to see what interesting Word Verifications came up!

The one at the moment is 'slactly'. This could be used as a murmured response in conversation: where you don't quite agree, but are too polite to say so.

An earlier gem was 'mousla'. I often inadvertantly play this deviant form of hoopla when the cable from my mouse twists around clutter on my table and propels objects across the room!

Comedy Goddess said...

Thanks for the link love!

Enjoying your blogflume?

I read that somewhere, oh, it was you, right? teehee.

wv: ericar

mevsmysoul said...

Hi chris Hale,

I landed on your blog through Willow's. Though I havent yet read much of your posts but I really liked the post 'Blogger me'. Hilarious, huh !

This post is nonetheless interesting.
WV: tarila
hmmm...honestly I can't think of anything. What could it mean?


Braja said...

You're a fellow wordsmith. I love this post. Also cos you named some of my favorite people.

punk in writing said...

Oh dear. This is what happens when retired people move on from crosswords and sudoku to the bloggosphere? Great fun!

wv: egativ
definition: the negative image of an egg or perhaps an easel used for displaying eggs?

Michael said...

Word Verification: nonmed

Easy. The short way to describe someone who is not in the medical field. A term often used by biochemical engineers, biological anthropologists and carriers of a PhD in the fields of health science, neuroscience and evolutionary biology for example that insist they are strictly non-medical.


Derrick said...

Hello Chris,

I read of you over in Willow Manor. It's good to meet a fellow countryman. I was beginning to think all the best bloggers were our American cousins!

As a newcomer myself I realise there is much to live up to and my own efforts to date are extremely modest.

I saw JAZZ on your blog and in paying her a visit got the verification "proviver". A professional bon viveur?

I look forward to hearing more of your world.

chris hale said...

Zounds! What a lot I've got! Profound greetings to you all.

Raph - You're clearly a natural at this sort of thing. I think I'll have to watch my step...

CG - Yes indeed, a veritable flume! Oh, and ericar - a vehicle used in the Scottish Highlands to transport heather to market.

Jyoti - Tarila. Hmm...an extra large tortilla chip created by malfunctioning factory equipment.

Braja - I do indeed love wordsmithery. A bit like Pringles - once you pop, you can't stop!

Punky - What next, I wonder? Polyester slacks and comfy shoes? Am I destined to be an extra in the remake of Cocoon?

Michael - Blimey! That one was a gift!

Derrick - Oh yes. There are a few of us Brits blogging away like mad. I shall visit your world today, if not sooner. Proviver - excellent - I can't better your definition.

Rob (Inukshuk Adventure) said...

Oh this is fun. I love some of the offerings from the Word Varification Gnomes.

WV - harkere = when you've some important news to deliver.

chris hale said...

Yay! Rob has entered the room!

Harkere - sounds a bit Latin, doesn't it?

Snotty McSnotterson said...

My favorite word verification I ever had to 'solve' was two words with a space in between: teen wretched

I thought it was fairly apt.

Thanks for the comment on das blog, and for the link! Pickled walnuts for everyone!

Today's word verification: *fistyla* which just makes me think of a good gay porn star name. Something like 'Fisty LaRue'.

chris hale said...

Snotty - Oh my! The word verification gnomes are getting a little naughty, aren't they?

Ah, picked walnuts; you can't beat em.

BTW, are you one of the Aberdeen McSnottersons, or from the Dundee clan?

Argentum Vulgaris said...

A fellow blogger and I have been doing a similar stunt with wordifiers (our coined phrase for word verifivations). And although we have come up with some interesting daffynitions, none come close to the pearls of wisdom that you are casting.

The wordify here is midge, which is a tea short of a full midget.

The other aspect to our game was to work the wordify into the comment, that confused a dew.

My fellow culprit in all of this was Douglas from Boomer Musings:



Douglas said...

Argentum referred me here, so blame him. I see that we are fellow uriters (hard to differentiate that one from a real real word).

Argentum should know that midge is a real word. Sometimes the Wordifier messes up.

chris hale said...

Argentum Vulgaris - are you perchance related to Long John Silver?

Midge - could also be the minute gap left between the thumb and forefinger when describing something very small.

Douglas - indeed yes. Midge, as you quite rightly say, is a real word. But it is also denotes the last scrapings of Marmite at the bottom of the jar that prove impossible to remove with a knife.

Sarah said...

You have beaten me to it and by chance I have found that out! I have been collecting these weird words for the last couple of weeks with a vague idea of doing some sort of a post about them-I think they are often like real words anyway. Here are a few of mine needing definitions!-ploint, multing, hythorbo and nifiback.pharings is this comment's word.

chris hale said...

Sarah, let me see...

Ploint - (onomatopoeic) The sound of a single drip of liquid into a larger body of the same.

Multing - To effusively over-praise a group of more than three people for their collective actions when a simple 'thank you' would be sufficient.

Hythorbo - Very strong ointment for a particularly nasty case of haemorrhoids.

Nifiback - A medium sized, strong-smelling dog, whose bite is worse than its bark.

Pharings - (plural) dialect name for the children of a lighthouse keeper.

I look forward to seeing some of your definitions!

Sarah said...

fumphal-cushions that have just been plumped
hylat-a harlot who lives on the
19th floor
metort-a bit like retort but to yourself when you have said something you don't like

Sarah said...

Oh-I liked your definitions! Especially nifiback and multing. This one defies a defeinition though-kykzxfsz-or maybe its defeinition could be 'something that defies definition'

Sarah said...

defeintion?! Twice.
victroc-to move rhythmically when your team scores a goal.

chris hale said...

Sarah! You're blummin' brilliant at this! Has anyone else ever said so?

Argentum Vulgaris said...

Chris, I'm not sure how long John's silver is...

Douglas, I realise that midge is also a word, but like many counterparts in the English language there are often secondary meanings.

Sarah is good, isn't she?

So I remain unsori (doesn't need explanation, speaks for itself) for any and all of the above.


chris hale said...


(i) Five feet six inches in his stockinged foot.
(ii) True
(iii) True
(iv) It has an alternate meaning. It is (like gatiomen) a Japanese dish, only this time with rice and a small amount of titanium.


Like someone else, I found my way from Willow Manor ... and am non-American.
I do have to disagree about corturts though - it's definitely East End and is ejaculated when the dentist has just removed a tooth sans anaesthetic. (Which I have tried, and you DO say words to that effect)
And since your blog requires a wordifier and I have "brojo" in front of me demanding that I identify it, I will regard it as a Los Angelese gang greeting .... or perhaps a rather short kerfuffle - not your full Westminster brouhaha - just a little brojo (pronounced the Spanish way).

And why do I have to "chose an identity" in order to post this inanity? Perhaps I choose to hide my identity .. I am not one of those poor unfortunates who have trouble with their identity, Oh well, if I must ...

Anyway, why do we elderly blogsurfers feel the urge to enter discussions on the blogs of perfect strangers? We wouldn't dream of walking up and joining in a discussion between several OAPs in the high street would we?

We find these Comment Conversations enticing because it allows us to do things that we wouldn't do in real life. Well I suppose that means that we should all go and join one of the Alternative Life places, where we can choose and identity avatar and do all the things that we would never dare do in real life ...

Owain of Ham and High

chris hale said...

Dydd da, Owain. There I go, making assumptions based upon your forename!

Thank you for entering into the spirit of the Word Verifier game. I particularly like brojo.

Not sure about the 'choose an identity' thingy; perhaps it means I can be Chris today and Dirk tomorrow. Dirk...hmmm...

The reason you need to join in rather than stand on the periphery is that I can't hear you nodding from here!

Heaven forfend that I should join one of these Alternative Life games. Having one life is a full time job. Knowing my luck I'd probably end up as a retired public servant.

Ham and High - is that the place or the newspaper?


Dear Chris, Owain is really Owen ... which is a Christian Name - or First Name .. (but never a forename) - it's just that when dreaming up an email address, I varied it. The place not the newspaper - and that's out of date but I still use it to confuse the maladjusted.

Ahhh retirement ... been there, done that and it didn't work, so I've got a cosy little room tucked away in a university, lined with books - and no one visits because no one can find it.

And now I am confronted with "exhanc" to be wordified hmmm. "Hance" can mean part of an arch and an exarch is a bishop, but that's too prosaic, no we need imagination ... a politician who has ceased hankering after power .. or other people's wives or boys ... do such beings exist? A politician who ceases hankering is a sad case indeed. And now "they" have rejected me - probably because someone behind the screen didn't like my wordification - and they've given me "biponr" a dyslexic writing about two bridges....

As you can see, this is part of my campaign to be included in the next series of Grumpy Old Men ... although I prefer watching Grumpy Old Women ... and ... I'm old enough to fancy some of them ...

Owain of Ham and High - but actually off the big end of the A6 (but I travel, so I could be anywhere).


p.s The room is lined with books - not the university - books are going out of tertiary fashion, to be replaced with accursed CDs and DVDs/flash drives .... which will be replaced with something else to which everything will have to be converted at enormous cost.

Book-lined Owain

chris hale said...

Owen - Hmm...I'm not quite sure whether you are telling me I'm maladjusted. Of course, Ham and High could also denote that you are a bad actor with a personal hygiene problem!

A cosy room at Uni lined with books? Oi! You've got my job! Well, the kind of job I'd like, at any rate.

Your wordifications are excellent. I presume you are a professor or some such; one of the old style, with a Harris Tweed jacket and a pocket watch, able to quote Beowulf in the original Old English.

In my view, most of those women (and men, for than matter) are neither old, nor grumpy. Give me some airtime and I'll show you what grumpy really means!


You are right, they aren't all that old or grumpy - except Germaine Greer - and she was decidedly grumpy even as a young woman - I suspect that she was a grumpy baby - Baby Grump in fact. And she's not one that I fancy - although she did once manage to have an affair with a TV personality who unsurprisingly got religion shortly thereafter ... I should imagine that anyone having an affair with Grumpy Germaine could be excused for getting religion afterwards.
Well, I do own a couple of Harris tweed jackets and thornproof trousers, but I am apparently noted in my rooms as always wearing gentelmen's dark cardigans with the pockets stuffed with bits of paper, old wrappers, pens and spare glasses.
And now they've given me "Prepo" as in
"that's a bit prepo" short for preposterous. Medicos talk about "prepping" some poor unfortunate for an operation. "Po" used to be short for chamberpot - pre-po could denote missing the mark in the dark (and blaming the resultant carpet stain on the dog) but let's not go there.
I suppose that if I want to talk about Gauls and "xs", I shall have to go to another room in your house ... exits grumbling ...

"They've" done it again - rejected me and given me "hotsers" - said the pot-boy as he dumped the pie before the hungry gallants.

Owain in Bucks (but Ham and High's fun because Americans infesting the British-invented internet, have no idea what it means ...)

chris hale said...

Owain - I think you secretly hold a candle for Ms. Greer. All this 'Ooh, she's yucky' stuff doesn't fool me for a minute. I've watched far too many films where the animosity between leading man and leading woman is used as a plot device.

My pockets are always full of stuff as well; usually a couple of low-denomination coins, a pebble, an allen key and some screwed up receipts.

You're being very lucky with the verifications.

Yes; it's traditional; you will have to go the the Asterix post to hold forth upon that particular subject!


No, not MISS Greer - but perhaps for Ann Widdicombe whom I regard as the most liveable-with.
When I arrived here it was giving me "lentec" with which I could have worked, but immediately it whipped it away and gave me "stinewi" which sounds to me like an Australian grand piano.

Owain of Bucks

chris hale said...

Blimey, Owain! I think you've been at the Uni cooking sherry.

But here's something you might appreciate: