Blogger me!

I've been at this blogging game for just under four months now. Those of you who have been 'at it' for considerably longer would probably regard me as something of a Late Developer. Be that as it may, blogging has given me something to sharpen up my mind (probably not a bad idea for a retiree - it's either this or fall asleep in the local library), and has also encouraged me to write; somthing I hope to do more of in the new year.

I've had some very nice comments from all of you out there, for which I thank you. I'm struck by the extraordinary range of talent, intellect and humour that runs through the blogs I have read. I hope that I may one day reach your dizzy heights. At the moment I'm a rather scuffy albatross flapping around outside the third storey of the massive skyscraper that is the Empire Blog Building.

I like the word Blog. It has an onomatopoeic feel about it. Take a plastic bucket, turn it upside down and push it down into a swimming pool, so the air can't escape. Then slowly turn it over. The rush of air to the water's surface sounds something like blog. Although it's really more like bluuuog. Repeated over and over again, blog can sound like the diesel engine of a canal boat. Or, when whispered a number of times, like boiling coffee in a percolator. Blog could also be pressed into service by cartoons or graphic novels. We're all familiar with wham, biff, boing and splat. Blog seems to me equally serviceable, perhaps as the sound of a villain being brained by a railway sleeper wrapped in a duvet.

When I was a kid, the English equivalent of John Doe was Fred Bloggs. And there was a famous lifeboatman from Cromer called Henry Blogg. But none of these things have anything to do with this post. When I wrote Greetings from Lower Blogworthy, I made a quick trawl through cyberspace to see whether there was, in fact, a village of that name or similar. There wasn't, but I did find the word 'Blogworthy' in the Urban Dictionary, which defined it as 'literally, worthy of blogging'. This started me wondering. Were there other words or phrases that could be adapted using the word blog, in order to describe blogs themselves, the people that created them, their contents, how they were written, and the etiquette surrounding their use? My previous post on the Common Smurf prompted the question once again. So, at the risk of your Humble Author's blog becoming even more lightweight than it is already, I have devised a short list of bloggy words or phrases. Here they are...

Ablogate - to deny any responsibility for the contents of your blog.

Blogarithm - the act of getting into one’s stride in the art of blogging.

Blogart - Either (i) the pretty pictures on your blog; or (ii) an online aficionado of 1940s films.

Blogdan - a suitable online name for a male Polish blogger.

Bloggery - an all-purpose swear-word (eg it’s raining like bloggery)

Blog flume - the torrent of comments following an interesting or controversial post.

Blogmanlike - a no-nonsense blog; sturdy and reliable.

Blognoxious - an unnecessarily offensive blogger.

Blogotá - a Colombian blog.

Blography (or Autoblography) - your online profile.

Blogsworth - a petty-minded blogger

Blogthario - one whose sole purpose in blogging is to make the acquaintance of women online.

Blogue - a blog with a strong Gaelic theme.

Oblogation - the feeling that you must post regularly so as not to disappoint your readership.

Obloguy - An abusive blog post.

Spaghetti Blognese - the act of tying yourself in knots by attempting to stick to your own principles and views, whilst at the same time trying not to offend your followers.

So there you have it. You can't get much more lightweight, can you? Next thing you know, I'll be telling you how you can increase the size of your blog by seven inches. Or offering you a genuine online degree. Or (less credible) a Readers' Digest cash prize that actually arrives.

All this typing has worn me out. I'm just popping down to the library for a snooze.