Wednesday, 3 December 2008

Blogger me!

I've been at this blogging game for just under four months now. Those of you who have been 'at it' for considerably longer would probably regard me as something of a Late Developer. Be that as it may, blogging has given me something to sharpen up my mind (probably not a bad idea for a retiree - it's either this or fall asleep in the local library), and has also encouraged me to write; somthing I hope to do more of in the new year.

I've had some very nice comments from all of you out there, for which I thank you. I'm struck by the extraordinary range of talent, intellect and humour that runs through the blogs I have read. I hope that I may one day reach your dizzy heights. At the moment I'm a rather scuffy albatross flapping around outside the third storey of the massive skyscraper that is the Empire Blog Building.

I like the word Blog. It has an onomatopoeic feel about it. Take a plastic bucket, turn it upside down and push it down into a swimming pool, so the air can't escape. Then slowly turn it over. The rush of air to the water's surface sounds something like blog. Although it's really more like bluuuog. Repeated over and over again, blog can sound like the diesel engine of a canal boat. Or, when whispered a number of times, like boiling coffee in a percolator. Blog could also be pressed into service by cartoons or graphic novels. We're all familiar with wham, biff, boing and splat. Blog seems to me equally serviceable, perhaps as the sound of a villain being brained by a railway sleeper wrapped in a duvet.

When I was a kid, the English equivalent of John Doe was Fred Bloggs. And there was a famous lifeboatman from Cromer called Henry Blogg. But none of these things have anything to do with this post. When I wrote Greetings from Lower Blogworthy, I made a quick trawl through cyberspace to see whether there was, in fact, a village of that name or similar. There wasn't, but I did find the word 'Blogworthy' in the Urban Dictionary, which defined it as 'literally, worthy of blogging'. This started me wondering. Were there other words or phrases that could be adapted using the word blog, in order to describe blogs themselves, the people that created them, their contents, how they were written, and the etiquette surrounding their use? My previous post on the Common Smurf prompted the question once again. So, at the risk of your Humble Author's blog becoming even more lightweight than it is already, I have devised a short list of bloggy words or phrases. Here they are...

Ablogate - to deny any responsibility for the contents of your blog.

Blogarithm - the act of getting into one’s stride in the art of blogging.

Blogart - Either (i) the pretty pictures on your blog; or (ii) an online aficionado of 1940s films.

Blogdan - a suitable online name for a male Polish blogger.

Bloggery - an all-purpose swear-word (eg it’s raining like bloggery)

Blog flume - the torrent of comments following an interesting or controversial post.

Blogmanlike - a no-nonsense blog; sturdy and reliable.

Blognoxious - an unnecessarily offensive blogger.

Blogotá - a Colombian blog.

Blography (or Autoblography) - your online profile.

Blogsworth - a petty-minded blogger

Blogthario - one whose sole purpose in blogging is to make the acquaintance of women online.

Blogue - a blog with a strong Gaelic theme.

Oblogation - the feeling that you must post regularly so as not to disappoint your readership.

Obloguy - An abusive blog post.

Spaghetti Blognese - the act of tying yourself in knots by attempting to stick to your own principles and views, whilst at the same time trying not to offend your followers.

So there you have it. You can't get much more lightweight, can you? Next thing you know, I'll be telling you how you can increase the size of your blog by seven inches. Or offering you a genuine online degree. Or (less credible) a Readers' Digest cash prize that actually arrives.

All this typing has worn me out. I'm just popping down to the library for a snooze.


Rob (Inukshuk Adventure) said...

Oh right, way to go. Stir up the blogoshere with your name calling and then blog off! You are oblogated to stay and moderate the blog flume!

Actually that was a great post. All this new language needed for things bloggy. Fascinating.

My other half refers to all my "wee friends" that inhabit my laptop whenever I quote something I read somewhere in the blogosphere. He has now also taken to photographing blogworthy things for me. It's catching this blogging!

Comedy Goddess said...

You had me at Blogger me!

I am so telling all my blogamees to pop over here.

I rate this post: blogtastic!

chris hale said...


Who are these 'wee' friends? Are they perchance the small, incontinent beings that inhabit all computers? They are related to the malevolent household spirits called Boggarts but, being web-based, they are, of course, called Bloggarts. These little beggars are responsible for all program crashes and other cyber-catastrophes. Beware! And tell other half to beware!

Comedy Goddess - Why, thank you, ma'am. I must admit to finding myself somewhat discombloggerated!

Madame DeFarge said...

bloggadacio, the swaggering boasting shown by those with more followers than following.

decablogue, a biblical blog with ten posts

homoblogous, it may look like a post on my blog, but in someone else's, it's self-indulgent angst

and of course, monoblogue, a blog only ever written by one blogger, often monopolising the comments.

Submitted for your delectation

chris hale said...

MDF - I am most grateful for your additional definitions.

It will surely be necessary to publish them all in a dictionary of Blogdignagian proportions one day.

Vodka Mom said...

okay, that was blog-acious. Or some kind of bloggy shit like that.

Braja said...

Oh my god, yeah! Fred Bloggs!! I remember that...Aussie childhood to Scottish parents and y'know the Aussie vernacular is British...

punk in writing said...

Blimey! I'm a Blogart! That is, I have a thing for old movies.

You learn something new every day.

chris hale said...

Vodka Mom - Aren't you married to Bourbon Dad?

Braja - Too right, mate!

Punky - I guessed from your sepia-tinted picture that you must be an old movie buff.

I wish I could learn something new every day. Most days I just seem to forget something...

willow said...

Blog-blog-blog-blog-blog-blog-blog-blog...I 'm just popping in on my little blogmobile.

I loved this post.

chris hale said...

Hi Willow.

Love that funky little blogmobile. How many miles do you get to the gallon?

Stevyn Colgan said...

Chris - Stephen Fry, as you know, writes Blessays. I now intend to call my whinges Blinges, or possibly Bloans, and my reviews will be Bleviews.

Congrats on keeping the blog going, old chum. Four months is a long time in Blogitics.

chris hale said...

Blogness gracious me!

Thank you, Mr. Colgan for your kind words. Oh, and for your most recent post.

I find myself flablogasted (an online expression of astonishment)at the number of comments I have received!

Comedy Goddess said...

I have a wee giftie for you over at my blog!

Charmaine said...

Blog off.

I was just going to ask you to marry me, if you happen to be single, then I noticed all of the witty blog remarks whereupon I sensed I should make a witty remark.

But I've been up all night despite taking a Tylenol P.M. partnered with a glass of crisp Chardonnay. Ug.

Great Blogging Blog, by the way.

willow said...

Hey, Chris, I had a brilliant streak and added a link to your post on mine today! :^)

chris hale said...

CG - Aw! Thank you for your kindness. However, I feel sure that a pot of yoghourt is more cultured than me!

Charmaine - hello and welcome to Middenshire, England's smallest coounty. What is Tylenol? Isn't it somewhere in Austria?

Willow - Thank you, ma'am. I, in turn, have mentioned your good self in my most recent posting, which expands upon the history of the wishbone!

Jeane said...

hi, found you through Willow's blog - enjoyed this very much - will be back

Jazz said...

Well, this is all very daunting... This is my first blogging experience so I would call myself a blogging virgin.. If anyone would like to give me pointers on etiquette, please be gentle...

chris hale said...

Jeane - good to meet you. Please feel free to wander around my tiny kingdom; no obligation to buy anything, and no salesman will call at your door!

Jazz - I too was a novice four months ago. And now look at me...I'm still a novice! Do call again.

Sarah said...

What a great collection of blog words! Spaghetti blognese is my favourite.

chris hale said...

Why thank you, Sarah!

Incidentally, how do you like this new one for a lady blogger - Blognatrix. Sounds a little Latin, do you not think? Or one of the cast of characters from an Asterix cartoon?